- BDAILY PREMIUM -
I have a love hate relationship with self-help books and podcasts so I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up The Secret to Happy by Vicky Pattison, ex-Geordie Shorer and 2015 winner of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.
Turns out this newly published hardback and audiobook is an inspirational and thoughtful page turner with one clear message at its core: the secret to happy lies with being the best version of you - and each day brings a clean sheet that allows us to work on achieving just that.
Even if you’ve made mistakes, you can move past these and fulfil your own potential, and those around you will come with you on that journey, or at least those who matter and deserve your time and love.
Vicky might not be the first to share this insight, but the power and authenticity of her message comes from the courage she has in detailing her personal experiences early in her career and sharing the, at times, painful consequences arising from her behaviour. We’ve all done something silly, but most of us have had the benefit of doing it privately, rather than broadcast to an international audience.
“This book…is here to make you feel better when you have gone ahead and done the things everyone told you not to do, and their warnings come true, and you feel silly or sad and have a head full of regret. I want this book to feel like a hug.”
I’ve a good ten years on Vicky, but recognised so much of what she had to say that sometimes it felt like looking in a mirror.
Buoyed by her honesty and common sense insight, I’ve bought multiple copies which I’ll be sending to my girlfriends and step-daughters. I want each of them to read this and feel empowered to accept themselves for who they are and revel in what they can achieve, as that is truly the first step to growth and happiness.
“We must stop shrinking to make other people feel better about themselves. Instead of shrinking, shine…shine so bright that in turn other people feel encouraged to shine too.”
Here are my five favourite take outs illustrated by Vicky’s own words:
1) Don’t let mistakes define who you are
“Bad times don’t last forever. You are not under any obligation to be the same person you were ten years ago, ten months ago, even ten minutes ago. I learnt this, trust this, and the same time appreciated I could be happy again. And you can too.”
2) Choose your own measures of success
“Accept your limits and build a life that works for you, not a life you think everyone else wants to see.”
“We need to normalise accepting different end games for women. If you want to be married by twenty-five and have ten kids and be a stay-at-home mam, that is amazing and so beautiful. If you want to dominate the boardroom, smash your professional life and live with your partner with no other commitment, that is a boss bitch move and super empowering. If you want to travel the world with your best friends, feeling sand between your toes, kissing new boys in new countries every month, staying single and fabulous, that is progressive and special and you are amazing.”
3) Be gentle on yourself
“You are powerful beyond measure, and even queens need help adjusting their crowns somedays. Allow yourself a bad day, a moment of weakness, and then take a breath and start again tomorrow. Progress, not perfection, ladies.”
4) There is nothing more important than being kind (if you want to sleep at night)
“If you put your best foot forward, if you’re nice to people, if you strive to make others feel comfortable, if you remember your pleases and thank yous, if you’re respectful, if you’re thoughtful, if you’re courteous – all these things help you sleep better. You’ll be able to get into bed at night and relax. You can get under the duvet with less to worry about.”
5) Self-care matters
“Self-love is the biggest act of anarchy you can do; to get into the mindset where you don’t care if you don’t fit into anyone else’s box. Learning to love yourself isn’t easy, in fact I’d go so far to say that the journey to self-love and self-acceptance is one of the hardest and longest out there and none of us have everything figured out.”
