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Parents 'should stop trying to be perfect'

Parenting is no more in crisis today than it has ever been, according to Newcastle University researchers.

Educational psychologists at the university say that, due to the demands placed on them by society, many parents are left feeling inadequate when it comes to caring for their children.

“There are lots of different ways of ‘doing family’,” says educational psychologist Liz Todd. “If we were to realise this, instead of worrying about whether we’re a good parent or have a functional family, then life would be much easier.

“Instead of trying to attain something which might not be right for our situation, we could look at how we personally approach parenting and why it’s important to do it that way, rather than pitch ourselves against some ideal of what a family should be.”

Dr Todd and colleague Dr Joel Yoeli, who works both with the NHS and Newcastle University, will be discussing these issues tonight (Monday 6 October) when they present ‘What Works With Families?’ at Café culture in Newcastle. Café culture is a series of fortnightly free events designed to generate debate and discussion around topical issues.

Dr Yoeli said: “Today’s children, rather than being emotionally deprived, are often actually over indulged, where both parents and children care too much. “This can cause a chain reaction, where families become their own worst enemies. Any emotional distress can escalate to the point where they blame each other for any problems, blowing everyday exchanges out of proportion.”

Dr Todd suggests this is where professionals can be most effective: by getting families to look at how the problem is influencing them and stopping them from becoming the kind of family they want to be.

‘What Works With Families?’ takes place on Monday 6th October from 7-9pm at the Urban Café, Dance City, just a few minutes walk from Newcastle Central Station.

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by Ruth Mitchell .