Member Article

Some girls will, some girls won’t…

Chatting with some colleagues at an event the other day, we got to talking about what makes some people determinedly pursue their dreams, and consistently take action to achieve them, while others seem unable to move beyond their here and now. It got me to thinking about the types of people I’ve encountered over the years, from clients to friends, and colleagues to family members. And I began to consider the differences and similarities and what it is that empowers some to really go for it, while others never make it beyond the starting line, if indeed they even get that far.

As I got my thoughts down on paper, I identified 6 main personality types (a terrible generalisation, I know), and considered how likely these ladies are to turn their goals into reality. Have a read and see if you can recognise yourself in any of these…

The dreamer has ideas in abundance, and loves to share them and get feedback on how very ingenious she is. She seeks the recognition and praise from others but has no actual intention of putting her plans into action. It’s not that she doesn’t have the skills or the talent, just that she’s not a finisher. While she’s great at the big picture, she has no head for (or maybe no interest in) details, and is easily distracted by the next glittery thing that crosses her path. She is prone to jumping from one great new opportunity, idea or product to another, and quickly becomes bored. She’s probably an early adopter (queueing down the street for the latest gadget) and has a tendency to frequently plan how she’ll spend a multi-million pound lottery win.

The waiter knows she wants more from her life. She even has a reasonable idea of the steps she needs to take to make it happen. But, she’s waiting for the right time to go for it. The time when she has enough money, or the kids have finished their A levels, or the house is renovated, or the better weather comes, or the planets are in alignment! This girl is convinced that there will be a right time, but every time one thing falls into place, she realises that there is some other thing that she needs to wait for, and so she never takes action. She is love and kindness personified, so she constantly puts the needs of others ahead of her own. And she hasn’t noticed that there’s a few extra greys in her hair, or that the laughter lines are getting deeper, and she hasn’t realised that her life is passing her by at the speed of light while she waits for the perfect moment to take what she wants.

The excuse-maker could be confused with the waiter, for she is sometimes prone to using some of the same types of reasons for not creating her dreams, but she is quite different. For she is not waiting for the right time. In her heart of hearts, she knows that there will never be a right time, and she has no intention of stepping up. She will find every reason in the book, to justify to herself, why she can’t have what she longs for. She’s tightly locked inside her “box” (the conditioning of her life), so she tells herself that she’s not good enough, not clever enough, not wealthy enough, not special enough, not pretty enough, not charming enough, not skinny enough, not enough. She sees the challenges as insurmountable, not to be overcome but to be accepted. She wants, but she knows she will not get, so she does not bother to try.

The victim is a product of her circumstances. Reactive and lacking direction, she has succumbed to the idea that life happens to her, and believes that she plays no part in the way things have panned out so far. When people treat her badly, she believes it is because they are mean, and when challenges arise you’ll here her spout such cliches as, “if not for bad luck, I’d have none at all!” She’s a sucker for the idea that bad things come in threes, and is quick to dismiss the good things that happen as nothing more than a fluke. Because she takes no responsibility for where she’s put herself, she can take no responsibility for getting herself out. She doesn’t just accept where she is, she believes that life will take her where it chooses and that she is powerless to resist it, or change it. In fact, she prefers to be the damsel in distress, and sucks up any drama and pity she can attract.

The achiever has a belief system that is the polar opposite of the victim. Knowing full well the part she has played in creating her circumstances, she is supremely confident in her ability to make her own luck. She is aware of her goals, although she is often so determined to achieve them, that she can find herself doggedly pursuing things that she later realises she doesn’t want. She is a risk-taker to the extreme and is willing to put herself into all manner of difficult situations, in order to further her cause. She also tends to be very proud, and doesn’t like to take help, preferring to be seen as self-sufficient and independent. This can often be interpreted, by others, as arrogance and can sometimes thwart her efforts to achieve her goals, when perhaps a softer approach is required.

The developer, like the achiever, is pro-active in nature, but is more willing to learn from others and is less worried about looking foolish. She is also comfortable with seeking out assistance where needed. She takes responsibility, and is keen to improve her life by surrounding herself with achievers and other developers, and by exploring new opportunities as often as possible. She has an idea of what she wants, but is flexible in her approach, and will often use others as a sounding board and learn from their experience, but is equally willing to stretch herself with new challenges. She can be a little hesitant to make decisions, and is likely to take her time when it comes to goal setting but, with support, she will readily pursue her dreams, and willalways complete the actions she needs to take, in order to further her mission.

So, what kind of girl are you lovely lady? The kind that will or the kind that won’t? And, do you know any other types that I’ve missed?

Jo Davidson is the GET A LIFE coach at Live Yourself Happy. Find out more at www.liveyourselfhappy.com

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by the GET A LIFE coach .