Member Article

Dads regret missing children’s key milestones

Seven in 10 dads regret missing key milestones of their child’s life due to work

Eligible parents with children due from 5 April can take advantage of Shared Parental Leave

New figures show over two-thirds of fathers have regrets about their child’s early years, with the most common concern being that they missed key moments of their baby’s development due to a poor work-life balance.

A new poll from the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills has shown that 69% of dads have missed a key milestone in their child’s life, with nearly a quarter missing their first steps (24%) and one in five missing first words (21%). In comparison, just 11% of mothers missed their child’s first steps and the same percentage missed their first words.

These findings suggest that missing out on these important moments has had an emotional effect on dads. Nearly a third of fathers surveyed said that they regret not taking any, or enough, leave after the birth of their child (32%), while more than one in five said that they regret not being there as much as they’d have liked to in their child’s first years due to work (21%). 20% regret not being ‘hands-on’, and having left their partner to do most or all of the childcare.

With new rules on shared parental leave due to come into force in just a few weeks’ time, nearly a third of fathers (29%) said they would have taken up the right to shared parental leave if it had been available. The findings show a real appetite for flexibility in childcare arrangements amongst men. Two-thirds (66%) of men who are thinking of having children in the future said that, when they do, they are likely or certain to speak to their employer about taking shared parental leave.

When asked whether taking more time off after the birth of their child would have helped, 94% of dads agreed; just 4% of dads said that it wouldn’t have been beneficial. Almost two-thirds of fathers (59%) said it would have given them more of an opportunity to bond with their baby, and half felt it would have enabled them to help out their partner more (52%).

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg commented:

“We know that the traditional family roles of the mother staying at home while dad goes out to work are a thing of the past. Fathers increasingly want to be more involved in their children’s early lives and to be there for those important milestones, as well as being able to support their partners at home and enable them to go back to work earlier if they choose to.

“Shared parental leave gives new parents the flexibility and choice to approach parenthood in the way that suits them best. Not every family is the same, so why should new parents be bound by the same restrictive rules on maternity leave? That’s why we’ve introduced shared parental leave, so that parents can make their own decisions about how to raise their family - whether it’s giving women the choice to go back to work earlier or men the opportunity to spend more time with their children.”

Employment Relations Minister Jo Swinson said:

“Having a new baby turns your life upside down – albeit in a wonderful way. As we bring in shared parental leave we are also turning outdated stereotypes on their head. Dads care just as much about first steps and first words as mums - so it’s crucial that the system gives fathers the chance to be there.

“Now couples have the option to share parental leave and pay in whatever way works best for them, meaning mums and dads get to spend time developing that vital bond with their baby in the early stages.”

The research was carried out ahead of the introduction of shared parental leave, which applies to parents of babies due to be born or adopted from 5th April 2015. The new rules mean that parents can split up to 50 weeks of leave and up to 37 weeks of pay between them in the child’s first year of life or the first year an adopted child is with its new family. Shared parental leave also lets parents suggest a flexible pattern of leave to their employer and allows for up to three separate blocks of leave of a week or more.

For more information please visit https://www.gov.uk/sharedparentalleave

A video about parents’ experiences of sharing childcare in their baby’s first year is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoHC9-hi02U

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by Shared Parental Leave .