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Q&A Meet Tabby Kerwin: The TEDx Speaker Who Says “Widowhood Made Me Happier”

If that title makes you pause, you’re not alone. It’s exactly the reaction Tabby Kerwin hopes for.

On 16th October, Tabby will take the TEDxTeesside stage to challenge everything we think we know about grief, loss, and what it means to thrive after life’s hardest moments. Her talk, “Widowhood Made Me Happier,” is about choosing how we respond to life’s inevitable challenges.

What’s the most unexpected path that led you to this work?

Whilst I had been working as a mindset and performance coach for many years as well a portfolio of businesses, my work really came to the fore following the unexpected death of my husband Simon in November 2018, following a short illness. It was this that drew me to double down on my work around mental health protection and high performance, and most of all to openly talk about grief, cancer and mental health – three taboo subjects.

Your TEDx talk is called “Widowhood Made me Happier” - what sparked this idea for you?

Far from being a homage to how I am happy my husband died, the idea for this talk was sparked from a realisation that you get to give yourself permission to choose how you feel and that emotions can and must co-exist. In order to perform at our best we can hold sadness in one hand but choose to lead with ambition or joy. This is essential so we don’t start to struggle and languish with our grief, but in fact we can grow with it. This key learning can help us truly thrive and be the mentally healthiest version of ourselves even when we are dealing with the toughest of life events.

What made you want to share your idea at TEDxTeesside rather than anywhere else?

Teesside has become a really important area from me. Whilst I am not from the area, my chosen family and the people and clients who have supported me most over the last 7 years since Simon’s death are all Teesside based. My main key client, Stockton-based Anderson Barrowcliff, have also been wonderful in trusting me to help them develop performance and wellbeing and through my professional psychology skills we have created an amazing mentally healthy environment for colleagues and seen a huge reduction in sick days for mental health issues. In fact, we have reduced from the national average of around 20% to zero – which we have held for around 3 years now. I will forever be grateful to these people of Teesside who have trusted in me and run with my ideas and that’s why I wanted to give back in this way. I couldn’t think of a more perfect place for my first TEDx talk.

Why is this conversation so important right now?

The conversation about grief has always been important; it is the one guaranteed life event we will all experience, yet the subject we are least comfortable talking about. It’s time we helped people get comfortable with that discomfort, and that starts through open conversations and the sharing of stories. If I can share my story and it helps others, then it is an idea and conversation worth sharing. I have a mission to help people protect their mental health so when these hard life events happen they are better equipped to manage them and consequently they can still perform at their best and grow with their grief.

If someone walks away from your talk on 16th of October with just one thing, what would you want that to be?

Hope that when hard things happen, they can absolutely embrace, live with and grow with that event and absolutely choose to allow their emotions to co-exist in order to thrive and be the happiest and healthiest versions of themselves.

What are you most looking forward to about being part of TEDxTeesside?

Sharing ideas and learning from others who are passionate about their lives and making changes, however uncomfortable that may be.

Tabby Kerwin will be speaking at TEDxTeesside on 16th October at Digital Life, Teesside University.

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by TEDxTeesside .