Member Article

Want a fresh start? Seek professional legal advice

So-called Divorce Day – the day in January that some in the legal industry claim is when most people enquire about divorce - may have passed, but in reality the decision to split can come at any time

A NEW year can mark the start of a new beginning, a point when we promise to do things differently and take control. For some couples this can mean taking the decision finally to part.

Choosing to end a relationship, however unhappy, can be both daunting and overwhelming. In an ideal world divorce would be quick, clean, fair, low cost and, where children are involved, dispute-free.

In reality, it’s rarely that simple and there are many issues to take into account, whether it’s an amicable, agreed divorce or a dispute that leads to bitter, acrimonious court proceedings.

The decision to see a solicitor and take advice isn’t easy either but one that lawyers recommend people who are considering separation should do sooner rather than later.

Andrea Hewitson, a Partner at BHP Law and a family law specialist with nearly 30 years experience, says: “We recognise how clients can feel anxious coming to see us for the first time because they are seeking advice in relation to a separation. They have found themselves in a situation they never expected to be in and often do not want to be in.

“To see a stranger and discuss their personal life can be very daunting. A separation is not just a legal process it is an emotional experience as well; it impacts not just upon the parting couple but upon the wider family and in particular the children.”

She says finding the right lawyer you trust, has empathy with you and in whom you have confidence is a vital first step.

With changes to Legal Aid, the requirement in many cases for mediation and options such as collaborative law, they should also have the expertise to guide clients through the process.

Andrea, who specialises in family finances and collaborative law, says: “There are plenty of opportunities to allow couples to put their personal disputes aside, negotiate a path through their differences and reach a settlement that works for both parties, and critically keeps the disruption for any children to a minimum.”

A proud proponent of collaborative law, a process whereby parties take control of their separation and reach an agreement which is in their interests, and a former chair of a group of North East lawyers who practise the method successfully in the region, she adds: “Separating couples who are splitting amicably or at least can maintain civility can sign an agreement not to go to court and instead come together with their own collaborative plans to discuss arrangements around the table.

“When parties can co-operate like this it becomes a less traumatic experience and many people do not want to go in front of a judge and allow someone who is in essence a stranger to make decisions about their lives.

“We are very lucky in the North East to also have trained family consultants who can assist with the emotional side of separation and keep the parties focused upon the process,” explains Andrea.

Mediation offers separating couples the chance to come together with a mediator to discuss their terms and find some common ground. It is a pre-requisite to most court applications regarding arrangements for children or financial matters.

Gemma Holmes, a solicitor at BHP Law who specialises in cases involving high net assets such as businesses, overseas properties and complex investments, says: “When it works well mediation is a less stressful way to reach an agreement about issues. No one wants a hostile situation. It is far better to reach some degree of compromise and walk away with your dignity, feeling in control and having had influence over final decisions than to end up in court where it is the judge who decides arrangements for your future.”

Some couples are, of course, beyond being able to co-operate and court at that point is the only option available.

“With finances you have to look at not only what you have, but also what you don’t have,” explains Gemma.

“Your solicitor will need to delve into all of your financial matters and it can come as a shock to some people to find the level of debts that they are carrying as a couple. In some cases, once assets are liquidated you might be left with very little.”

With the ending of Legal Aid for divorce for many situations, some may be reluctant to go down the legal route due to perceived cost.

Gemma advises: “People should not be put off from seeking legal advice by the cost. I always encourage clients to call for a chat or to come into the office for an initial consultation for some general advice in order for them to be aware of all of the options open to them.”

“There are lots of ways and professional support to help parties deal with a separation and, having legal advice from the outset with someone you trust is essential.

“If your relationship has broken down to the point where you are considering separation then you need to know what is achievable so that you can have the piece of mind in knowing you still have a future and can move forward with your life.

“A lot of people seeking divorce are still young and have their whole lives ahead of them. That said, the time to do it is only right when you feel ready,” says Gemma. “No one should force you into divorce or separation and people should remember they can step back from it at any time.”

The team at BHP Law not only deal with separating couples but also help people who are planning to live together or marry with expert advice on, for example, cohabitation agreements for couples who have no legal claims on their partner’s assets, and pre-nuptial agreements to regulate and document how assets are to be divided or retained if the couple ever separate.

* For advice on divorce, contact any of the family law team at BHP Law on 0800 590019.

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by Sarah French .